I recently quoted this scripture (one of my favorites) on a friends post. Funny that I would read something that someone is going through, and immediately call to mind this passage of comfort, but I forget to remind MYSELF of those words when its ME having difficulty.
Driving into work this morning, I remembered to remind myself.
I realized that sometimes you just have to have faith. You have to put your trust in Him and believe that He will not forsake you. I realized that lately I have once again been donning my Happy Face. I have slipped back into the old habit of trying to not let others see that everything is NOT alright with me. Although, if I am being totally honest – I don’t know that I am really being that successful at hiding it. Today, for instance, I am sitting here… at my desk at work… in jeans and a t-shirt, hair on its second day since being washed, bags under my eyes (despite the fact that I actually went to bed last night at 10pm!) and NO make up to cover those bags. Want to know what’s sad, though? No one is alarmed by my appearance. No one walks in and says “Wow! What’s up with Donna? I wonder if she is OK?” No one does that. Why? Because this is the norm. This is how they are now USED to seeing me. It has become normal for me to get up in the morning and simply not have the energy to get myself totally ready for the day. I know that I am not the only D Mama to experience this... but it still bother's me!
Lack of sleep, certainly. Even when I have a full night’s rest, it's not enough… I can't seem to catch up. Sugar Daddy and I trade off on the checks most nights… last night was his night. But I am still so tired this morning.
Worry… I worry about Sugar Boy, of course… but Diabetes has affected more than just the over-all health of our family. Finances are also a big concern. Diabetes is expensive.
Stress… Keeping Sugar Boy, not just alive but HEALTHY on a daily basis. Yes, it’s stressful. Its stressful depending on other’s to keep him safe when I am not the one that’s with him. Its stressful never knowing when D is going to decide to chuck the rules out the window and drop his BG like a lead balloon – or send him soaring. It’s stressful always being so STRESSED!
I usually deal with stress by eating. Which makes me worry about weight issues. Its either that or shopping… and well, we have already covered the finances part of it.
I wish I were a runner, like Reyna… but even if I were in the physical shape to do so… I have no clue when I would possibly find the time.
So, where does all this leave me? At the beginning, I suppose. At the beginning of this post, I mean:
It leaves me with FAITH. And HOPE. Because, really… what else is there?
Apparently I was supposed to have this realization this morning, because when I went downstairs to get my coffee at work, I noticed this hanging on the wall....
God is good!:)